Tuesday, April 05, 2011
That is about how many children go missing EVERY DAY! I am astonished, today I got a terrible taste of what it might feel like to have a child go missing. Kaitlyn, Adam and I were all together in the living room. The kids were playing with their toys and I was unpacking some books onto a bookshelf. I asked the kids to put away their toys and ended up having to put Adam in his bed because he refused to help (go figure). I came back to the living room and Kaitlyn was gone. I did'nt think much of it at first, I started calling her name and looking for her so she could finish helping pick up but I got no response and could not find her anywhere. I got a little more curious and started looking everywhere. Under beds patiently thinking she was hiding or something. Then as I still had no luck in finding her I started to worry she went outside. We live right on a river now and it worries me a little but the kids are scared to go down there with me let alone by themselves so I doubted she would go down there. But alas she was not to be found out front, in the car or in the house so I started to panic. I asked Grandpa for help and he said, "Go run down by the river and I'll continue scouring the house for her". I ran down to the river, shouting her name. My heart was racing, I started to feel a panic attack hitting. My mind was racing a thousand miles an hour of all the possible terrible scenarios. What if she was taken, or was lying helpless hurt somewhere and couldnt shout my name. What if she was down by the river swept away in the current. I was starting to shake and shout her name louder and with more emotion. I ran inside having not found her anywhere outside. I yelled to my father in law.."Where is she?"..his eyes were full of worry and concern, he had called Joseph as Kaitlyn was no where to be found. Joseph called back and Grandpa ran outside to search the river more. I pleaded with Joseph to hurry home, he was already close by and told me to call 911. I called and the police were on their way. Joseph arrived with his Mom who was the only calm person through all of this, she having had lots of experience with these situations as her 5 kids were full of suprises. Joseph's Mom ran in the house and called Kaitlyn's name, I turned to her and said.."Joan I'm going to loose it, I am loosing it." It had been at least 20 min now and I was convinced that she was gone-I was faced with for a moment the idea that my sweet little Kaitlyn was missing..FOR REAL. My whole body was swirling, I was seeing colors, I felt like the world around me was spinning and I could not stop it. Joan ran up the stairs and said, "Kaitlyn I have some candy for you, come and get it". She repeated it a few times and I melted on the stairs. I had looked everywhere at least 5 times. I prayed another prayer of many and heard Joan say-"Kaitlyn, there you are"! I looked up the stairs and there was my sweet little Kaitlyn with her big brown eyes and precious little hands. Oh my how relieved I was-I balled and sobbed and sobbed some more. I am SO LUCKY! Then as I held her in my arms and pleaded with her to NEVER do that again I began to ache for those mothers who don't get that opportunity. Whose children really are gone. My heart goes out to them and I hope that somehow they can find the faith and strength to move on. It would have been so hard for me, I am not sure how I would have been able to go on even for another minute not knowing where my daughter was. The gosepl gives me strength I would not have on my own but it would take hard work even with my faith to overcome a challenge as hard as losing a child. Kaitlyn was hiding in a closet behind some boxes that looked so packed together that there would be no space for her in amongst them. She had a flashlight. It took her literally 1 minute to find that hiding spot which is how long I would assume it takes for a child to go missing-so quickly. Hold tight to the ones you love. Tell them you love them and enjoy every moment. I am not sure I'm gonna let my kids out of my sight any time soon, I hope I never have to endure such a terrible trial and I wish more than anything that those two thousand some odd families would not have to endure it either. Tonight I kissed Kaitlyn and Adam extra hard and long and squeezed them so tight. Oh and I told Kaitlyn she is NEVER aloud to play hide and seek EVER again!